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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757066">Love Ain't</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_of_letters/pseuds/fandom_of_letters'>fandom_of_letters</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Author is obsessed with a song that they think fits the relationship perfectly, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a shy boy, Ben is a good friend, F/M, Friendzone, Hux is a Dick, Pining, Rey learns what love is, Roommates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:01:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_of_letters/pseuds/fandom_of_letters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben Solo does not know what love is. He really doesn't. He's never had a serious girlfriend and his parents didn't give him much to go on. But Ben Solo does know that his roommate's relationship ain't love. </p><p>Or</p><p>Ben watches Rey's toxic relationship from afar as he pines over her.</p><p> </p><p>*Inspired by the song "Love Ain't" by Eli Young Band*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hotels are made for two night stays</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello and welcome to a story I started writing because I was obsessed with a song and needed something to do during homework breaks.<br/>The chapters will be short glimpses into Ben's life and his view on Rey's relationship so it's not like a full plot story or anything, but I hope it will still be fun to read at the very least.<br/>Before reading I would suggest you listen to the song because it's great, but it will also give you a better idea of where this story is heading. (Love Ain't by Eli Young Band)<br/>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben Solo had never known love, not truly. His parents’ relationship was barely stable on a good day. Throughout his childhood, he barely ever saw them and rarely ever in the same room. With his mother heavily involved in government and politics, and his father off doing whatever the hell he was doing, it was like they weren’t even married. Yet they stayed married. They still are, in fact, but basically only by law. His mother was the only one that truly lived in that house anymore. His father preferred to be on the road and sleep in his beloved car. So yes, Ben Solo had nothing to go on when it came to what love is, but he did have <em>a</em> <em>lot</em> to go on when it came to what love is not.</p><p>That is why when Ben’s roommate came home crying after a date with her boyfriend, he knew something was wrong. That also, didn’t stop the guilt from seeping in when he saw how upset and hurt she was, seeing as Ben is the one who introduced the two of them. To be fair to himself, he didn’t think that they would start dating, especially since Ben had been secretly pining after her since she had moved in. He just invited Hux over to hang out at their apartment one night and they had really hit off, much to his dismay from the chair in the corner.</p><p>Ben Solo was in love (maybe, he still didn’t know if that’s actually what it was) with his roommate and she happened to be dating his best friend who just so happened to be the biggest bag of dicks when it came to being in a relationship. Or maybe he had always been a dick and Ben had only just noticed because it hurt the girl he cared so much about.</p><p>He was sitting on the couch, watching some boring documentary on TV when she came in, mascara running down her face and hair no longer in the nice half-up do she had it in when she left earlier that evening. She softly closed their front door and slide down the door, pulling her knees to her chest as she sobbed. When he saw the state she was in, Ben immediately leapt off the couch and sat down in front of her.</p><p>“Rey,” he said, putting his hands on her knees. His skin tingled from where it touched her’s, but she didn’t need to know that, especially not right now. “Rey, what happened?” She looked up at him with her big brown eyes that Ben adored so much, but now, instead of soft and kind, they were red and puffy.</p><p>“It’s Armie…” she started. Ben figured that’s who did this to her. but he needed to know why, so he stayed silent, giving her time to talk. She took a shuddery breath. “He broke up with me.”</p><p>As soon as she said this, a fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes, and it hurt Ben so much to see her in so much pain. He wanted to reach up and wipe the tears from her cheeks, but he stopped himself. To her, they were just roommates, barely friends. Wiping her tears away felt like crossing a line that she might not want to cross.</p><p>“He broke up with me because I didn’t want to sleep with him. I mean, who does that? We’ve only been seeing each other for like a month! I didn’t want to move that fast and he told me I was a tease and kicked me out of his car. I walked home.” Tears were streaming down her face and she never looked him in the eye as she spoke.</p><p>Ben swore he saw red and all his previous thoughts about “crossing lines” went out the window as he pulled her into his arms and held her as cried. He wanted to scream at Hux, punch him, tell him what a wonderful girl he had hurt. But instead he held Rey in his arms as she cried and shook and let it all out. And she let him.</p><p>He looked at the girl in his arms and wondered how anyone could do something like that to someone as wonderful as this. He wondered how any half decent human being would let a girl as magnificent as this walk all the way home at 10 o’clock at night in the pitch darkness. He wondered how anyone could hurt so badly that she was crying in the entryway of her apartment on the floor. As his shirt dampened from her pain, Ben promised himself he would never hurt her like this, never. If she were his that is.</p><p>*****</p><p>One week later, Ben was coming home from his shift at the biology lab, lost in thought. Ben hadn’t talked to Rey much since that night he held her. He hadn’t talked to Hux much either, but that wasn’t for lack of trying on the red-head’s part. Hux had texted him at least a dozen times asking Ben to tell Rey that he was sorry and to call him back. Ben hadn’t responded to a single one.  </p><p>He did, however, want to talk to Rey. He had texted her a few times asking if she needed anything or that he was going to the store if she wanted him to pick up anything. He wanted to make sure she was okay and that she knew he was there for her if she needed it. He wanted to tell her how much he cared for her and just say every little thing he felt. He didn’t though, giving her the space that she nonverbally told him she needed. Her door was always shut when she was home now, and he rarely heard her make noise. She came out to use the bathroom and get something to eat every now and then, but other than that he didn’t see her much. It also didn’t help that he was barley at their apartment this week, picking up extra shifts and opening more of his TA office hours due to midterms coming up.</p><p>He was so distracted when he walked in the door that he almost didn’t notice the two people locked at the lips on his couch. It took him a minute to process but once he did his heart sank into his stomach. Rey was on their couch making out it Hux, and they hadn’t notice him come in. Ben felt like he was going to be sick. He started toward his bedroom when Rey must have heard or seen him because she quickly pulled away from Hux.</p><p>“Ben!” she said breathlessly as she scooted away from the man Ben was tried so hard no to glare at. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. Armie and I were just going to watch a movie, did you want to join us?”</p><p><em>No, </em>Ben wanted to say, <em>I don’t want to sit next to the man I wanted to throttle all week because of how upset he made you. No, I don’t want to sit next to the two of you while you cuddle, and I have to see. No, I don’t want to watch a movie unless it’s just you and me, Rey.</em></p><p>But instead of all that, Ben said: “I actually have a lot of work to grade by the end of the week, sorry.”</p><p>Ben couldn’t get out of the room fast enough after that. He didn’t understand how someone could be so hurt by someone and then get back together with them. He believed that love wasn’t just something you checked in and out of like a hotel room. But what did Ben know about what love was?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Whiskey's poured for when you’re bored</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am so sorry for how long this took to come out! School has been a bitch and when I'm not doing homework, I've been working. Hopefully I will get the next one out sooner!<br/>Thank you so much for the kudos and comments! They mean so much to me and encouraged me to come back to this story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days after Ben walked in on Rey and Hux sucking each other’s face off, he had the apartment to himself for the weekend. Rey was off doing something with her friend Rose; Ben hadn’t really paid attention when she’d told him. He was grateful for the time apart from her. He had a pit in his stomach ever since that night and being around her made it worse. He somehow knew that she was going to get hurt again and he wanted so badly to stop that from happening, but he wasn’t close enough to her to just tell her not to date Hux. And to be honest, he didn’t want that; Ben wanted Rey to <em>see</em> him, as more than just a roommate. He would treat her how she deserved to be treated.</p><p>Or at least that’s what Ben kept mumbling to himself as he poured himself another glasses of whiskey. He was on his third… fourth glass? He couldn’t remember, all he knew was that with each glass, it made his heart hurt a little less. So did the stupid action movie he was watching on TV. With every explosion and gunshot and car chase that Ben’s eyes absorbed, he the more he forgot about reality. This was how you got over someone you never even dated right?</p><p>Ben was on the sequel when the door to the apartment opened with an angry looking Rey walking in. She slammed the door and plopped down onto the couch next to him, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Wordlessly, Ben offered her the bottle of whiskey that was next to him and she took it without a second thought, bringing it to her lips and taking a swig. Ben watched as she barely as she swallowed the expensive, eighty proof whiskey that his mother had gifted to him last Christmas. When she was done, Rey turned and look at him, the anger still present in her eyes, but lessened. Ben stared into her eyes before he decided to speak, maybe for a little too long, but he could always blame it on the alcohol later.</p><p>“I thought you were going to be with Rose all weekend?” Ben said it as a question, but his voice trailed off at the as if he were unsure if it was alright to ask.</p><p>“I <em>was, </em>but then fucking Armitage decided to call.” Rey’s voice was harsh, and her tone would’ve been scary if Ben was on the receiving end of her anger. “He decided it was absolutely unacceptable that I was spending the weekend with anyone other than him. We had a row over the phone, and I got so furious that I felt bad for Rose. I told her I was just going to home and that I was sorry for ruining our weekend.” She took another swig of whiskey, kicking off her shoes and sinking down on the couch.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Rey. Hux is an ass.” His voice was soft, as if he was afraid to scare her away.</p><p>“Thanks, Ben, but it’s not your fault. Sometimes, Armie needs to realize that I am not his booty call, I’m his girlfriend. He doesn’t get to call me when he knows I was busy and demand I be by his side, that’s not how we work.”</p><p>Rey’s voice breaks and Ben wants nothing more to pull her on to his lap and kiss her, letting her know that everything is alright. What he does do is turn and face her, giving her a face full of concern, resting a hand on her knee. Rey takes a few more swigs of whiskey, and if Ben had to guess she was definitely feeling the effects with how much she’s had, the bottle is almost gone.</p><p>“Honestly, I don’t even know how we work anymore. Most of the time, he’s putting me down and making me feel like shit,” Ben can see the tears start to fall softly as she talks, she takes another swig a whiskey. “He expects me to bend over backwards to thank him for paying for our dates, even when I offer to pay for myself! Half the time, if we aren’t making out, he doesn’t even look at me! It’s like I’m nothing to him… I’m nothing…”</p><p>“Not to me, Rey, not to me.” Ben decides this is the alcohol talking, or maybe giving him courage, but he continues talking. “If Hux can’t see how special you are then he’s a fucking idiot. Rey, you are beautiful and strong and the best person I know. Who else can rise above all the shit you’ve been through? Don’t you ever let him think that you are nothing because you are not. Say the word and all punch that fucker right in his ginger face.”</p><p>Rey huffed a small laugh and covered the hand that was on her knee with her own.</p><p>“Thanks, Ben. You’re a really great friend.”</p><p>Suddenly, it’s as if a bucket of ice was dumped on him and Ben sobers up a bit. Right, friends, that’s what they were, nothing more. Rey didn’t have feeling for him, she was dating Hux. Ben could say how much Rey meant to him all he wanted, but that didn’t change the fact she wasn’t his to say those things to. Rey had Hux and no matter how much of an asshole he seemed to be, they were still together. Ben couldn’t kiss her like he wanted to. Ben couldn’t hold her like he wanted to. Ben couldn’t fall asleep wrapped around her, cuddling long after their alarms have gone off, like he wanted to. Ben couldn’t pick her up from class and take her on a surprise beach trip like he wanted to. Ben couldn’t do any of the things with Rey that he wanted to.</p><p>They were just friends.</p><p>Ben clear his throat and looked away, scooting away from Rey and turned back to the TV. He picked up his long-forgotten whiskey glass and drained it in one go.</p><p>“Well, you’re welcome to stay out here with me. I’ve just been watching these movies. They’re called… um, well… I don’t know what they’re called. They’re just on TV.”</p><p>She murmured her thanks and moved to grab the blanket from behind Ben. She covered both of their legs and moved to make herself comfortable, which included resting her head on Ben’s shoulder. He couldn’t breathe, but he made no move to push her away, he could never.</p><p>They watched the movie together in semi-awkward silence and Rey was on her phone every once in a while, texting. Ben knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself, he occasionally glanced at her phone when she had it out. She texted Rey saying that she was okay, but Ben was more concerned with the texts she was sending to Hux. From what he could gather, Hux had apologized and they were still together, which irked Ben to no end. One small victory for Ben, however, was that it was Ben’s shoulder that Rey’s head was comfortable laying on, not Hux’s.</p><p>He would never understand Rey continued to stay with this guy. He had literally thrown a temper tantrum because Rey was spending time with someone else. Ben believed that love wasn’t something you called up when you bored and lonely, that was what the whiskey for. But what did Ben know about what love was?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Updates will be whenever I get a chapter out, so keep on the look out every once in a while for another one! Hope you liked the chapter! Please let me know what you thought!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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